...born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad

Totalitarian “eloquence”: Years ago I was hired to write a speech for a provincial cabinet minister. I wasn’t familiar with the minister’s speaking style, or for that matter, with the minister, who was rather obscure and hailed from some rural Ontario hamlet. His communications director wasn’t too forthcoming, but I got the impression that the minister wasn’t exactly a paragon of eloquence.

“So I take it the minister’s no Winston Churchill,” I said, trying to get a fix on things.

“Winston Churchill? He’s not even Andy Griffith,” replied the flak.

I only ever wrote that one speech for that politician, whose name I don’t recall, and who ended up leaving politics and returning to his Mayberry. (I’m pretty sure his decision had nothing to do with my speech.) As challenging as that assignment was, I can’t imagine what it must be like to have to compose the clunky totalitarian claptrap the comes out of the mouths of the supreme mully-bully and his chinless Baathist acolyte. All I can say is that some Andy Griffith-style folksiness would be a definite improvement. Here’s the Tehran Times’ report on the latest Dr. Evil/Mini-Me confab and its supposed utterances:

TEHRAN -- Supreme Leader of the Islamic Revolution Ayatollah Seyyed Ali Khamenei assessed as successful on Sunday the status of Iran and Syria at regional and international level.

“Syria and Iran have achieved good successes on regional and international issues,” Ayatollah Khamenei said in a meeting with Syrian President Beshar Assad.

The Leader also described the relations between Tehran and Damascus as very good, saying, “The late Hafiz Assad (ex-Syrian president and father of the current president) laid a firm basis for Iran-Syria relations and the relations are still going on well despite great efforts (by enemies) to disrupt them,” the Leader remarked.

“You have also continued the same approach of late Hafiz Assad and the current good relations of the two countries is the result of continuing that path,” the Leader told Beshar Assad.

The Leader also expressed hope that Assad’s trip to Tehran will lead to a promotion of ties between the two countries in all areas.

Assad, for his part, described Tehran-Damascus ties as firm and strategic.

“I am extremely happy that this meeting is held at a time that on the one hand we observe great achievements of the Islamic resistance in Lebanon and a consolidation of the status of Hamas in Palestine, and on the other hand our enemies are in a much shakier position than before,” the Syrian president noted.

Sounds to me like the mullahs are putting words in the Boy’s mouth.

Posted by: scaramouche at 11:25 | link | comments

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