...born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad

Sex in a cold climate: It was the rakish Pierre E. Trudeau who once famously defined a Canadian as someone who “knows how to make love in a canoe.” Having never attempted the feat myself (because, let’s face it, who, save for PET, ever has?), I can foresee canoe-canoodling as one of many possible plotlines if and when Canada’s very own porn channel—Northern Peaks—ever comes to fruition. (The channel is awaiting final approval, which hinges largely on a willingness to include a certain amount of “Canadian content”; the broadcasting powers-that-be apparently believe that our national identity will be better served if porn actresses can fake an orgasm in two official languages.) Here are a few other suggestions for Northern Peaks productions:

·         The Friendly Giant: He’s really “friendly,” if you know what I mean. 

·         Candy Does Kamloops: Also, Stacy Does Saskatoon; Wendy Does Winnipeg; and Annie Does Attawapiskat. 

·         Anne of Blue Gables: Fairly self-explanatory, I’d say. 

·         Michelle, Michelle: A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Moncton to Moose Jaw.

·         Emily of New Moons: Small town gal travels to the big city for a caboose enhancement; post-recovery, hijinks ensure.

·         Come-By-Chance: The story of how residents of a small Newfoundland town attempt to overcome their sexual ineptitude. (Hint: a visit to the town of  Dildo helps.)

Posted by: scaramouche at 13:31 | link | comments

Comments: